Circle of Security Parenting (COSP)

Rather than asking, "What’s wrong with my child?", COSP encourages a shift toward asking, "What does my child need?"

The COSP framework introduces a simple visual roadmap (known as 'the Circle') which helps caregivers understand children’s behaviour as a form of communication. It supports parents to offer comfort when their child is distressed, encouragement during exploration, and gentle guidance when needed.

COSP supports caregivers to strengthen their connection with their child by focusing on four key areas:

1. Providing a secure base for exploration
2. Offering a safe haven during times of distress
3. Supporting emotional co-regulation
4. Reflecting on caregiver experiences and responses

To support clear and realistic expectations, it can be helpful to understand what COSP is not intended to be:

1. Not Therapy: COSP is not a substitute for individual, family, or trauma-focused therapy. It is an educational and reflective framework designed to support “good enough” caregiving by deepening understanding of children’s emotional needs and relational patterns. 
2. Not a Quick Fix: COSP does not aim to deliver immediate behavioural solutions. Instead, it supports gradual, long-term change through increased insight, connection, and emotional safety within the caregiver–child relationship. 
3. Not Judgmental: COSP does not blame or shame caregivers. The framework is grounded in curiosity, compassion, and respect, supporting reflection and growth without criticism.
4. Not Rigid or Prescriptive: COSP is not a set of rules or a step-by-step parenting manual. It offers a flexible framework that can be adapted to each family’s values, circumstances, and developmental context.
5. Not About "Fixing" Parents: COSP does not assume something is wrong with caregivers. Instead, it supports understanding, self-reflection, and compassion, recognising that parenting is shaped by lived experience and ongoing learning.

The COSP offers a relational framework that helps caregivers better understand children’s emotional needs and the meaning behind behaviour. Rather than focusing on behaviour management alone, COSP emphasises emotional safety, connection, and the caregiver–child relationship.

Key areas supported within the COSP framework include:

• Understanding behaviour as communication, particularly during times of stress or big emotions
• Supporting emotional co-regulation, through caregiver presence, calmness, and responsiveness
• Balancing connection and boundaries, while maintaining warmth and emotional safety
• Caregiver self-reflection, including awareness of how past experiences can influence parenting responses
• Strengthening attachment relationships, by supporting caregivers to act as both a secure base for exploration and a safe haven during distress

These concepts are integrated into attachment-informed parent support and therapeutic work, tailored to individual circumstances and needs.